Wanted: One shot of inspiration.

I'm back in my rut. I've let myself down once again. I thought I could get over my habit of needing someone to like, but no. When all else fails, I just go back to the silly option. He doesn't make it easy though. Oh no. Stupid boy. He couldn't possibly know the implication his affections had have on me. He just thinks he's being friendly. Fuuuuck.

In other news... It's really fucking windy outside and I have to cycle to work again. I cycled home last night and when I got to the bridge I was so tempted to get off and walk up it, but the stubborn streak in me came out and I ended up not only cycling over it, but against really strong winds too. I was so proud of myself. If I hadn't had two fucking chippers since Tuesday I'd be looking forward to another good result at cultwatchers next week. Curse my inability to say no.

This is turning into an essay, but it's my new place to vent. Besides, only one person reads it anyways! *waves to James* Speaking of James, I really want to get writing some new songs with my babies in Three Places. I had an epic conversation with Steven in work last night about how I want to be in a band that changes things. If I'm able to inspire someone as much as the bands I listen to inspire me I'd die a happy girl. Right this minute I feel like I'm about to burst with ideas but I can't do anything about it. Maybe I should start writing shit down as it comes to me, so that the next time we practice, instead of having to think up lyrics on the spot, I'll already have words that just need a melody.

Ideas are all well and good. It's actually being motivated to follow them through that's the problem.